His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
