so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
