News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
