Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize