i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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