...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
