i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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