JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
3 2 1 whiskey
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize