id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
