just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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