so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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