if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
