Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
try to milk me bitch
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