Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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