i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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