We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Randomize
