Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
