Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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