tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
