just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
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She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
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