So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize