btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
