whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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