One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
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thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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