so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
