Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize