You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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