D3 body, D1 cock
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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