ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
