is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
