At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
