I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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