WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
