it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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