I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
