that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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