i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
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I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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