I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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