I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
