Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
