I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
