Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
