Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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