Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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