Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

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(859): View more from Kentucky

That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days

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(678): View more from Georgia

I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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(863): View more from Florida

It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.

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(916): View more from California

I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.

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(678): View more from Georgia

He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together

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