The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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