Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
