Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
