My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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