Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
