Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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