you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
