Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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