just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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