Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize