That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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