he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
