She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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