i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
