Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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