If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
