So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
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i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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