He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I party with great urgency now.
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