unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
