He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
