Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
