fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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