We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
