dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
