what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
